Why I dyed my armpit hair blue

And why I have armpit hair in the first place.

Do you remember when you first started shaving your armpits? Do you remember why you started shaving your armpits??
Personally, I started shaving my armpits when I realised that I was supposed to be shaving my armpits. I likely overheard some girls talking about shaving their legs, armpits etc. I probably cottoned onto that. It’s possible that when someone pointed out that I had armpit hair and made fun of me hat I sought to rectify that particular error asap. It’s not often that a bullying problem can be so easily solved. Lucky me.

Why did I start shaving my armpits? Because otherwise I’d be mocked, I’d be considered unfeminine. Never mind that nobody asked me if I wanted to be feminine and shave my armpits. It’s just one of those natural coming of age things. You know how it goes/ You reach puberty, your hormones are firing so you’re miserable, your hips are widening so none of your trousers or skirts fit anymore. You’re bleeding in new and uncomfortable ways and to top it off you have to start combating the very natural and normal process of hair growth. The social repercussions of not conforming to this western society norm meant turning yourself into a target for ridicule and I certainly did not need help in that department. So, to reduce the merry-go-round of mortification that was adolescence, I got on board the hair removal train.

Speaking of things that are mortifying… does anyone else find it exceptionally gross that the basic principle of hair removal is to reduce the evidence of female maturity?

I’ve been riding the hairless train since I was 13 and for the most part I never stopped to question why I was really on that train or if I’d ever want to get off at some point. Now as a nearly 30 year old “adult” it’s only a pandemic and Amanda Palmers sexy “patriarchy can kiss my ass” influence to make me really look and my pits and wonder “what would they look like if they were left to fend for themselves. Since I wasn’t going anywhere, now was the perfect time to find out.

This is what I discovered.

My armpit hair is downy soft. Truly I expected it to be course, curly and generally ‘pubic’ in appearance. But this is not the case. The strands are smooth and soft and the flow is not quite curly but more just linearly challenged.

My pits smell more. Not massively so but my nose is sensitive and I can detect it. I don’t find the odour off putting but if anything were to push me to giving my pit locks the chop it would be this.

It’s sexy. – This one is a controversial thought but hey, it comes following a controversial act of letting nature take its course. I first saw armpit hair on Amanda Palmer and I thought “wow, she’s brave.” But it’s not just brave, it’s jaw droppingly defiant, and for someone who has spent most of their life being a people pleaser I found this act… awe inspiring, self secure and sexy. But its not just what the furry arm pockets signify, it’s also their presentation, its intimate to see something that is usually hidden from the world.

…..

I’ve been growing out the fuzzy pit pets for 3 months now. In that time I have experimented with using deodorant, not using deodorant, moisturising and dying it to match my hair. My next project will be to see if I can grow it to a length where I can use straighteners on it without getting third degree burns.

If I ever do shave my armpits again it will be because I want to, because I’ve chosen to change my aesthetic. It won’t be down to societal pressure. It won’t be because I’ve been shamed into conforming to an unnatural standard of beauty. It will simply just be because I felt like it.

In summation: Why am I growing my armpit hair?
– because its my body and I’ll do what I want with it.

Why did I dye it blue?
– see response above.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

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